A friend forwarded an email that he had received from the manager of his retirement fund, which included an article about “happiness”, with this recipe:
· Cultivating optimism/hope
· Avoiding social comparison (ruminating on what others have and we do not)
· Practicing acts of generosity and kindness
· Developing deep social relationships (versus an abundance of those that are superficial)
· Developing resilience/endurance through trials
· Practicing forgiveness (even more, forgiveness that is undeserved)
· Increasing “flow” activities – those where your gifts /talents are most utilized
· Savoring life’s joys (versus unbridled indulgence)
· Establishing purpose/setting goals
· Pursuing “spirituality” – acknowledging a power beyond oneself
· Physical and social activity – movement and engagement with those around us
As every media outlet I’m in contact with today is tempting me with all kinds of incredible deals – at incredible prices, I looked at this list – and it’s source – with some cynicism (see? – not cultivating happiness – yet). And yet, yesterday’s Thanksgiving celebration was – for me – a savoring of just one of life’s joys (with “bridled” indulgence): a gathering of friends to share – whatever each of us felt like sharing. So – that’s the point, isn’t it: I may eventually be able to do all the things on the list above, but for today, I just need do do one thing. So I’ll continue from yesterday and move and engage with those around me – though I’m tempted to stay by the fire, protected from the weather outside…
Years ago, my cousin Hap and I were talking about financial advisers and financial planners – we were both relatively new in our careers and wanting to do the right thing about saving for retirement – and saving, period. He told me that he had been working with “a guy” at Merrill Lynch for a few years and just that morning, his “guy” had called him to say that he was now a Portfolio Manager (a timeout, while I just clarify: a broker is someone who arranges a transaction between a buyer and a seller and receives a commission, and a portfolio manager is someone who makes investment decisions using money other people have placed under his/her control). My cousin said “So, Bob, what have you done in the last 12 hours that qualifies you to move from being a ‘broker’ to being a ‘portfolio manager'”. “I got new business cards.” Now, it turns out that Bob had the talent and he has done well as a portfolio manager for my cousin. But some of us treat people who manager our money like doctors: do what they say, even if we don’t think it is in our best interest. Do ask questions, check your assumptions, and take the time to find an adviser who you will be with for a good long time – it is worth the effort.
Check out Friday’s radio show:http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/74185/is-your-advisor-listening
Last week I heard a speaker relaying the story of her early teaching experience -which she hated – and how THINKING more positively about her teaching actually made her more creative in her teaching and able to get out of her own way. She was still clear that teaching wasn’t for her and left the profession – but she left with achievement instead of bad memories. I’m an incurable optimist, so overall positive thinking comes naturally to me. But this got me wondering two things: 1. how many times a day to I think about money? 2. what percentage of those thoughts are positive? I honestly have no idea – but I do think about money a lot during the day: writing contracts for clients, doing the grocery shopping, listening to market reports – heck, listening to the news in general (the Budget, healthcare premiums, jobless/jobs reports), making travel plans for business or work – THINKING about making travel plans. Well, you know. And then my follow-on thought: if I switch negative thoughts to positive thoughts, what kind of happiness dividend over time because of my view?
So join me in an experiment – take a few pauses during the day to reflect on how often (in the last hour, in the last 4 hours – don’t make yourself crazy, but notice) you’ve thought about money. I’ll check back in next week with what I learn.
In the meantime, join us tomorrow to talk about the dark side of the personal financial industry with blogger, author, and researcher extraordinaire Helaine Olen. http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/73942/pound-foolish